The mask of success: why high-achievers feel empty.

THE MASK OF SUCCESS: WHY HIGH-ACHIEVERS FEEL EMPTY

Before we talk about the subject, it is important to define what success actually means. This is nothing new — success, or the definition of success, varies from person to person according to their values, their personality, their uniqueness.

But one thing is certain: success has to taste good. If it doesn't, it isn't success. At least not for the soul. It may be success for the ego, which is most likely preoccupied with image and with its impact on society, and which may well adopt the definitions society imposes: status, money, the perfect relationship. But if I achieve all of that and more, and I don't enjoy it... is it really success?

Sometimes success can be a small victory. Allowing myself to sleep in without rushing, without the fear of being late for work. Getting through those first few minutes of exercise. Resisting a cigarette when I have decided to stop smoking. In those moments I feel proud of myself, and if I allow myself to celebrate, to be glad, to enjoy it for a long while, to smile, to sing, then I am allowing my essence to show itself — I am letting my soul sing.

But if I treat it as merely one more step to be added to a list I can display, then I am not valuing what I achieved in the slightest. I am not inside the event with body and soul; I am living the experience through the mind alone. And the mind, on its own, unseasoned by a little emotion and sensation, has complete freedom to tell its stories: "I can't waste time", "it isn't enough", "it was nothing special", "what's the next step?" And so the self-sabotage begins.

The conclusion: I have an empty success. Nothing fills me. So I start looking for something that will fill that emptiness, and I never find it — because what actually matters isn't out there. It is my own recognition. Recognition of myself, by myself.

I need to understand that success is not about possessions, status, love or entertainment — at least not only those things. Something fundamental is missing for all of it to work: my integrity, my passion, my gratitude, my time — my own applause.

When I manage to experience success from that perspective, then I can say I am happy. Because I have and do everything with the energy and presence of the Self.

That's all it is. Just that small difference.